Favorite Dog Jokes!

Here are a few dog related jokes that I find amusing...enjoy

There was a hound dog laying in the yard and an old geezer in overalls was sitting on the porch. ''Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?'' a tourist asked. The old man looked up over his newspaper and replied, ''Nope.'' As soon as the tourist stepped out of his car, the dog began snarling and growling, and then attacked both his arms and legs. As the tourist flailed around in the dust, he yelled, ''I thought you said your dog didn't bite!'' The old man muttered, ''Ain't my dog.''
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A man walks outside to his car for work, when he notices a gorilla in his tree. He rushes to his phone book and finds the animal control number, calls and asks them to send over someone who's a gorilla expert. When the man arrives, he is carrying a shotgun, a chihuahua and a pair of handcuffs.
The man says,''What are all of those for?''
The animal control officer says, ''I'll climb up in the tree, knock the gorilla down, the dog will bite him in the jewels and you must slap the handcuffs on his wrists.''
The man asks, ''What is the gun for?''
The animal control officer responds, ''If I fall first, you shoot the dog!'''
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A man hated his wife's dog and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the dog there. The dog was already walking up the driveway when he approached his home. The next day, he decided to drop the dog 40 blocks away but the same thing happened. He kept on increasing the number of blocks but the dog kept on coming home before him.
At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a perfect spot and dropped the dog there.
Hours later, the man calls his wife at home and asked her, "Jen is the dog there?" "Yes, why do you ask?" answered the wife.
Frustrated the man said, "Put that dog on the phone, I'm lost and I need directions."
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A little girl asks her mum, 'Mum, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?' Mum says, 'No, because the dog is in heat.''What's that mean?' asks the child. 'Go ask your Father. I think he's in the garage'.The little girl goes to the garage and says. 'Dad, can I take Susie for a walk around the block? I asked Mum but she said the dog was in heat and that I should ask you.'Dad says, 'Bring Susie over here.' He takes a rag, soaks it with gasoline, and scrubs the dog's rear with it and says, 'OK, you can go now but keep Susie on the leash and only go one time around the block.'The little girl leaves and returns a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.Dad says, 'Where's Susie"' The little girl says, 'Susie ran out of gas about halfway down the block and there's another dog pushing her home.
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Hope to see you all at Indoor Dog Park tomorrow morning from 8am-1pm.

Have a great weekend!

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